Appreciation vs exhaustion

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Sometimes, when things get busy and the days are filled one gotta-do after another, it is easy to lose track of the good things. That has been happening to me lately. With all the planting and caretaking of the garden, the care of the animals, trying to keep up with cleaning the house, yard work with a nearly dead mower,  my actual outside-of-the-house jobs, and all the small projects around the property that have been half started and left or just not started at all, I have been getting overwhelmed. It happens every spring. I love it and I hate it. 

I love being busy after a long cold winter and seeing my efforts turned into something good. I hate not having super-ordinary energy and strength, not to mention enough hours in the day  to actually finish everything on my list. So, things get left and I feel defeated.

Take the rocks and weeds littering the ground in the garden. Our nice tidy planting beds are surrounded by all the rocks that came out of the hole that is our walipini. The messiness of it makes me crazy. When it was first dug we had to pitch the rocks from the bottom out so we could make a nice flat floor and not turn our ankles working in there. Now they are all over outside and I turn my ankles walking around the garden.

I do get some help...

I do get some help...

Now that 90% of the garden is planted, I have begun picking rocks and piling them together which has allowed me to whack the weeds down that had grown up through them. I have been working on this for 4 days and I'm about halfway done. My hatred of living on an ancient riverbed grows daily. Rocks are my nemesis.

As I work on this, I remember that the berm needs weeding, that the goat fence needs moving. The to-dos seem endless and feel like I will never catch up.

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But, then I look up to see the tomatoes with their tiny yellow blooms, the bright red radishes popping out of the soil, I hear Reggie crow proudly about his ladies, and Mia asks for a garden salad with dinner because she is "craving veggies", it is all suddenly worth the effort. I love my home and my animals. I love making this a place for my family to retreat to as a haven. 

I guess my shower will get scrubbed eventually. Maybe after the goats get their baths?  Maybe after another wheelbarrow of rocks gets dumped? The chores will all wait patiently for their turn. I feel like there is a lesson in that. Somewhere.